Devil’s Advocates Tired of Working Long Hours for Thankless Job, Consider Unionizing

“We deserve compensation — nay, hazard pay — for the important work we do.”

In a virtual gathering on an undisclosed subreddit, hundreds of the nation’s most vocal Devil’s advocates debated the possibility of unionizing on Tuesday evening. The user u/OkButHaveUConsideredMyAsshole opened the discussion with a summary of why he believed a union would benefit Devil’s advocates, writing that:

“Advocating for the Devil is a thankless job, but someone has to do it. So why are we so quick to accept nothing but derision and scorn for our essential work? Now more than ever, we need to advocate for ourselves. These are unprecedented times, and Devil’s advocates are working harder than ever. We deserve compensation — nay, hazard pay — for the important work we do.”

Image by Ronny Overhate from Pixabay

Other users were quick to downvote u/OkButHaveUConsideredMyAsshole’s remarks. Another user, u/youcantcancelmycultureyoucucks696969, responded to the opening remarks:

“Just to play Devil’s advocate here, have you considered the fact that unionizing will negatively impact our bottom line? Since when have Devil’s advocates turned up our nose at derision and scorn? That’s why we got in the game to begin with.

Not to mention, if we receive artificially high praise for our work, it will cause trouble for our investors and shareholders. And then what? It weakens our brand; we’ll produce less capital, which will stymie our efforts to expand and bring more people on as Devil’s advocates.

This idea is bullshit, and it goes against everything we stand for.”

Reddit user u/DevilDevilToilandTrouble666 responded succinctly: “Just to play Devil’s advocate to your DA, have you considered sucking my dick?” It was the only comment on the 563 comment long thread to receive any upvotes.

Image by OpenIcons from Pixabay

The deliberation continued for several hours, and points were made on all sides. No fewer than forty-seven “hypothetical thought experiments for [users] to consider” were proposed, and almost every commenter in the thread was called a snowflake. Despite rampant demands that every user “cite [their] source,” no sources were cited.

Ultimately, the thread was locked by an admin after no progress was made on the issue. As of Wednesday, August 5, 2020, Devil’s advocates in the US have no known plans to unionize.

This is a developing story. We will give updates on the situation as we learn more.