Alice H. Lahoda

Dec 10, 2021

7 min read
Lest We Forget the Horrors

My 2021 Submission Stats

Because getting published is a numbers game.

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency — 38 submissions

5 acceptances

  • 4 acceptances came in August and September, interspersed between a few rejections with encouraging feedback
  • when I pulled back on submitting so frequently, I started to have more success with the site

Shouts & Murmurs — 2 submissions

1 rejection

The Onion — TBD

I was accepted to participate in the Diverse As Fuck x The Onion workshop this fall, which was followed by Evergreen Headline and Features pretrials. If I pass the pretrial phase, then I’ll get to participate in the 4-week trials to determine whether I’ll be a contributor. I probably won’t hear back about the pretrials until early 2022.

Reductress — 3 contributor packets

3 rejections

The Hard Times — probably ~70ish headline pitches

9 acceptances

  • 1 published with generic site byline
  • 1 killed
  • 1 in queue

SmokeLong Quarterly Comedy Competition — 5 pieces

5 rejections

Slackjaw — 20 submissions

11 acceptances

  • one of these acceptances was my Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge piece, which came in 10th place out of 482:

Points in Case — 19 submissions

6 acceptances

  • 4 lists

The Belladonna — 17 submissions, 1 Editorship

14 acceptances

  • 7 submitted A.M.E. — ie, sent directly to the founding editors for edits/approval

Flexx Mag — 8 headline pitches

4 acceptances

2 Ho Ho Ho’s — 1 submission

1 acceptance

Widget — 1 pitch packet

1 acceptance

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket — 8 submissions

6 acceptances

Funny-ish — 1 submission

1 acceptance

Greener Pastures — 4 submissions

2 acceptances

The Haven — 5 submissions

5 acceptances

Little Old Lady — 1 submission

1 withdrawal

DNAtured — 1 contributor packet

1 acceptance

The Boston Accent — 1 submission

1 acceptance

JumpKick Funding — 1 contributor packet

1 acceptance (sort of)

Humor Darling — 2 submissions

1 acceptance with edits

The Philadelphia Satirer — 1 contributor packet

2 headline acceptances

TwoFiftyOne — 2 submissions

2 rejections

HornRimmer — 1 submission

1 rejection

Weekly Humorist — 1 submission

1 rejection (presumed)