“My Brain is LITERALLY Scrambled Eggs,” Says Scrambled Egg Brain Man (First of His Kind)

Local scientist weighs in: “What the fuck?”

KINGSTON, Ont. — In a culinary discovery that has scientists and chefs baffled, an Ontario man stumbled into a health clinic last Friday with a baffling anatomical abnormality. “My brain is LITERALLY scrambled eggs,” said Michael Thomas, an egg enthusiast and competitive eater.